I agree 100% with Seeker - being mindful of what your needs are and more importantly how to address them can be very hard but remember all that is at stake. What about any sort of counselling to help you deal not only with this but what's also happening to your son? It's important that your feelings are looked after in regards to his situation too. I doubt very much this young man will able to provide you with what you're looking for long term and as another poster pointed out, if whatever you're doing to try and save your marriage isn't working perhaps a clean break is best. This will allow you to focus more on the different roles in your life and hopefully help you feel better. I hope you have a good support network in place and that you also find this place useful. All the best.