AAAAA - you have the hard questions today!! As for the crossdressing being the problem - that is a direct quote, so unless she's hiding something else, she has told me on multiple occasions that all of our problems go back to that night she found out 5 years ago. In her mind, nothing has ever been the same since. What would I hope to gain by a trial separation - 1. I guess I would be hoping for her to wake up and realize that she's not going to be able to get away with treating me this way, that she would quickly recognize the full value of my contributions once I'm gone, actually MISS me, ... all before bringing attorneys into the picture and having to sell our home, minimizing the impact on the children, etc. 2. Finding out if maybe I'M actually happier without her and can empower myself in the meantime for the fight. Perhaps a longshot... my feelings vary by the day on whether there is anything left to fight for.

Perna - you may have just written my good-bye speech. You have definitely captured my darker feelings about all this.