Sounds like "irrational thinking" to me. That's something that you really need to talk to your therapist about. You can't go through life feeling like that.
Good luck!
<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>
__________________
Psalm 119:105 Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.