All I can say about this is that severe depression has very high stakes, and that within that context, even very good counselors can make terrible mistakes. Ever had an off day where you felt like you kept making incredibly stupid mistakes or bad decisions? Ever had a moment where you said or didn't say something and regretted it? Now imagine that every day of your job, if you had a day like that, or made a bad decision, someone's life could be in the balance. Imagine how badly you would want a chance to apologize and do what you could to repair your mistake. There is a TON of vulnerability on both sides in therapy, not just one or the other.

I can't tell you what to do, but if it would be helpful, I think it makes sense to at least go back and ask for the kind of referral you actually want. And I am so sorry she let you down in this way. I know it must feel unbearable.