Thanks so much Lucy, and everyone for helping me with good insight and empathy.

I heard back from my sweet therapist this morning, she wrote:

"Good morning, XXXX, no need to apologize or be embarrassed. I send you a big virtual hug! When you ask me directly, I will be happy to send you one. Chat with you later, XXXX"
I feel relieved and... overwhelmed and happy at the same time. I've really been struggling, and it helps to know she's really there for me and caring. I had a much lighter session today, my life has been nearly too intense to manage, so we're trying to step back a little bit and give me some space to recuperate and be gentle with myself. Yea!!!