It will take time, the feelings will come and go, give yourself permission to feel however you feel, but know, from all you have been through, that you made a good decision in the end. Some grieving comes and goes for years, even a lifetime. People who respect you, treat you with respect. (I know how capable I am of recalling "good" things, and thinking "what if..", imagining how things could have been ((much worse in reality)) better so easily if only he'd or I'd..).But you have to bring yourself back to the whole experience and remember why it was not healthy for you, and know you cannot change the behavior of another. It is painful, it is a loss, even if it is also a gain. I find it helpful to focus on small things (being in the garden, doing a crossword, walking with camera looking for new angles, sometimes watching something familiar on netflix that keeps me company without demanding a great deal of attention, reading, sewing, knitting (something plain, easy, but pleasing)---dancing around the house, weather permitting, is always fun turn the music up...
you'll get there...the journey continues. Thanks for posting to let us know how you are doing.