I feel like I'm accepted here for being so open about my past, which is super cool, but I also feel ostracized by everyone.

I'm nice and I'm pretty and people notice these things about me. But they also harp on everything in me that they don't like. I get shunned for being constructive in workshops and no one goes out of their way for me like they do other people. Also, I feel like everyone thinks I'm weird.

Today, I got completely ditched when I had plans with someone. I told an inappropriate joke and immediately apologized for it. My personality and sense of humor is just different from everyone else here, even though everyone can admit that I am a sweet, strong girl.

I'm sick of feeling the need to warp my personality to fit in. I honestly think that I am more understanding, thoughtful, caring, informed, better at communicating, mature, honest, braver, and more willing to admit my faults than most. These are good traits! Should I try to fit in, or be a loner until I go home? I don't even know if I can undo the damage.

I now I'm far from perfect, I just want to be happy being me. I don't get as mad at people for being themselves as long as they are nice to me. I like me. Why can't others?