Oh Charlajustin,
I'm so sorry you are having such a tough time. Even though it's hard sometimes to talk about the stuff that we try to keep buried and you hurt at the time, but it always in the end makes me feel better, so I do hope it's not because you are on here talking to us. I really feel it would help more than hurt.
I agree, can you call your GP for some anti-anxiety meds? It may help you.
Try and keep your breathing slow and deep. Keep the mind busy with something, whether it be a good movie or solitaire.
Thinking of you,
Linda