Quote:
Originally Posted by mojo321
I am realizing, although I've know for quite some time deep down, that body size and shape matter when forming friendships with people of the same sex, but not when forming friendships with people of the opposite sex. HOW INTERESTING IS THAT!!!
I am 5'6", athletic, and an all around fun guy. Everyone at works loves working with me. But the guys are all 4" to 10" taller than me. As a result, we don't hang out. There are some that I KNOW are not as "in" as I am, but then I come to work on Monday, and they are talking about something they did over the weekend. I just laugh at the story, and don't put any guilt on them or anything. They have no idea that I would have liked to be included.
I now know, it is due to my height. No, it's not in my head. My emails, text messages, etc all point to great friendships. But when a 5'-6" guy walks along side a 6'1" guy, it is just odd and uncomfortable for some reason. That's why groups of friends gravitate together based on looks and physical size and shape.
The part I find really interesting is, DATING doesn't seem to follow this trend. Anyway, I just thought I would blog about it here.  |
What i find particularly jarring about this post is the amount of assumptions made not only towards others but towards yourself. You say your athletic, great, fun to work with, other's aren't as cool - in whose opinion? I'm not denying you don't have great qualities - we all do. I feel however that this is an attitude issue, maybe your co-workers see you as arrogant? Perhaps they feel you think they're above them by not being more assertive in going out with them? I agree it's an awkward thing to try and 'smoothly' tag along but if they go out to eat or maybe watch a game or something why not just say; Oh man i love the _____ they've been doing great this season i'm down to watch it. Or; you're grabbing a bite to eat? Cool i'm starved let's go.
It's about being confident yet endearing enough to make other's warm to you - not everyone has it and some more than others but it's definitely achievable. Remember also that groups of friends, especially men it seems, like to capitalize on their friends lesser traits in funny ways. It's like a bonding ritual. So you'll be the short one in their group - what about the one with the secret love of Elvis music or the one who spent most of his savings pimping out his car like a 16 year old?
Nobody's perfect.
I think you're just trying to overcompensate by using your height as a means of avoiding more core self esteem issues. These can be helped, but in the short term maybe just biting the bullet and going for it might pay off?