Thanks everyone, geez, sure wasn't expecting so many replies, so rapidly. Am allowing all of your comments to sink in, see if this sorts out soon. What rings most true for me is hankster, "Maybe you just reached the end of this person's ability to help you." I believe that sums it up. There have been other letdowns but this last one tripped a wire. Yes, a T is only human, is going to make mistakes, but when you've poured out your soul to the person and revealed every vulnerability, its a helluva time to screw up. "Start over"? Not gonna happen. "Get contacts"? Already have them, from my own research months ago. It was the DECIDING I haven't been able to do, not the ground work, because in deep ***** it's very hard to imagine going solo to a strange town, booking a hotel/motel for weeks, while having a therapy that looks good on paper but is really just a desperate move. There is no one else to help with any of this... another fact putting perhaps too much pressure on my counselor. But that's the time for her to admit, if need be, "Cannot do that"... not fumble along off target and then be almost glib about it. I'm aware the disease is coloring my reactions, but even allowing for that, it comes down to confidence in her abilities, the TRUST factor. Of course I have considered how this hurts me! I'm not blinded by anger. But how much more can it hurt to have someone in that position not take you seriously enough when you need exactly that, the very most?