Spirit: I'm jumping on the bandwagon that is telling you to stop beating yourself over your past mistakes.

I'm sure that when they happened you did your best to make amends. That wasn't enough FOR HER so there is not a divorce. That is a final decision, which means your relationship with her is over.

You need to keep in contact ONLY in regards to your daughter. There does not need to be ANY conversation between the two of you outside of "I'll be at your place at 5pm to pick up my daughter." When you arrive there to pick her up, you do not even have to speak with each other. But you need to enforce this and let her know that if the conversation can not be civil, that you are not going to take part. You also need to remind her that it is very important that each of you refrain from talking about each other when your daughter could even possibly over hear anything.