Accepting is the way to go I think. You will only create frustration and resentment if you sit and wait for him to be someone else. That doesn't mean you can't ask him to change his behavior toward you (or pick up around the house or whatever.) But it helps to clarify what you can and cannot live with. What is a deal-breaker vs. where can you cut him some slack? Have you known him to be better that he is now? Is there good reason to think he might change? Would that change have to be at the level of insight from a psychodynamic process or would it be enough to have him address a few of the annoying behaviors that drive you nuts?