I would have not expected that response from you, Hamster.

Flirting with other girls is a BIG DEAL. Especially if it is bothering you and you asked for him to stop when you have full rights to make that demand. Maybe this is part of his "dom" thing, but even in s/m there must be respect. There are only so many mind games one can take, and him using infidelity (yes, it's cheating, it's infidelity, because it is extremely inappropriate) for his own sexual pleasure at the expense of your stability is WRRROONNNGG.

There doesn't have to be any "plan." He shouldn't have to need "distractions." Really, it's a one step plan: HE SHOULD STOP DOING IT.

He needs to delete numbers. MAKE SURE he blocks/deletes those numbers and if he uses internet social networking he must remove contact with those women on those websites as well.

So no, don't shrug it off. CUT it off.

I love being submissive in bed. My BF treats me in "cruel" ways, "sexist, disrespectful" ways. Ah, bother, I like it. HOWEVER, this does not leak into our everyday life. I am assertive in the relationship when I need to be. He is respectful and does not demand submission outside the bedroom (and even in the bedroom, it is a request that I grant.) You can have the sexual enjoyment of sub/dom but it can mark a terrible relationship (IMHO, people will object) is submission and dominance characterizes the entire relationship.