What a mess. This guy is unhealthy for you from the way he treats you alone, he doesn't respect you, he doesn't want you in his life and you can't make him want you. If you're going to cheat, he's not worth it.

But really, when you cheat you get yourself in a mess. AND RIGHTFULLY SO. You gotta accept this was a purely sexual affair, and you have no control or right to demands in that relationship. You put yourself in there and you can't really whine about whatever ***** comes flying back at you.

Work with your husband on that sexual chemistry. You are putting all your energy in the WRONG direction.