Had session with T today. I was really afraid to tell him about the thoughts yesterday, but I did. Eventually. He thinks as I started to that my abandonment issues stem from my mother abandoning me physically and emotionally. I also talked things over with my boyfriend. Things are good between us now. T says I need to work on rationalizing myself out of paranoid thoughts, but was happy to hear I haven't purged in weeks and haven't severely restricted in a while. And that I'm not sui. That was a big plus.