Unfortunately, all my medical care is being provided by the VA. I can't afford insurance through work, and I make to much for any assistance. I'm seriously limited to my pdoc choice. I wen through one before, but he was too judgmental for me. We had a serious personality conflict.

I went almost 8 years w/o an episode, but the last 8 months have been hell. My current pdoc explained it is just like an earthquake. There are little tremors before the massive quake, than comes the quake, and than aftershocks. I'm in the aftershocks now. The pic I attached pretty much explains my cycles.

I am on a mood stabilizer. It takes care of the mania's. I don't hear the voices or want to put my hand through the wall, or bang my head against it. All of the above I've done in my rages. I just try to stay away from people as much as possible.

They say I'm high functioning, but I really hate those terms.