It took me a long time to recognize my anxiety and how my anxiety actually dominates me. You'd think it'd be obvious but it isn't. I guess it's too deeply rooted in us, blended into so many parts of our thoughts and life, it's difficult to separate those tiny little roots and understand that they are anxiety. I have benefited from taking time to develop more self awareness and only now I am confounded as to "How in the HELL have I always denied having anxiety??!"

Panic attacks have various ranges of intensities, you cannot say that there is just ONE demonstration of an attack. The "heart attack, I am going to DIE" panic attacks likely get the most attention because that is what brings people to the hospital. Doctor's love to believe that panic only lasts for half and hour, and perhaps the more intense ones do (your adrenal glands can only take it for so long, I guess), but they look over the less-dramatic but ongoing despairing anxiety that can last hours hours and hours. I still consider those attacks.

Anxiety also arrives in and endless list of symptoms, making it more difficult to expose. You simply can't try and match your experience with some stereotypical portrayal, no one ever has it the same. Psychiatrists try to give EXACT descriptions within the diagnosis manual and that gives the misconception that mental illnesses and anxiety are highly specific.

Unfortunately, the 'heart attack' version of the story is what kept me from believing I was having anxiety attacks. For that reason, the crying, shaking, nauseous, hiding in the bathroom fits I had I initially attributed to depression! I thought, I'm crying uncontrollably, it's depression! All my worries I attributed to depression. I let myself be convinced that my fears were reasonable. So, it's not an anxiety disorder, right?. (And that is why anxiety can lurk undetected, you believe in the credibility of your fears)

Even the first panic attacks I experienced about twice a year for a couple of years (until they lead up into an on going, frequent struggle), I just thought I ate something bad! I was throwing up, so hot and sweaty for a time. I didn't even panic at the sudden onset of disturbing symptoms to the point of thinking I will die. I thought I was having miserable food poisoning. It seems to obvious in retrospect!

When I think "I'm going to die" I am thinking more along the lines of "One day I'm gonna die." But really, even when I am worried about death I am not laying on the floor wishing I could kiss everyone good-bye and that my time is truly over. I never ever think I'm having a heart attack. My heart races and pounds but for some reason is not a trigger of mine. (Suffocating, however, the feeling may make me go nutty enough to think I will pass out.)

Any time where anxiety spikes to an extremely uncomfortable level, I consider that an attack. It's not PANIC, but it is anxiety, y'know? Most of the time I am fending off "limited symptom attacks." What you are describing sounds like a panic attack. It is an extreme elevation in fear and fear doesn't have to mean "I'M DYING" or "HEART....ATTACK....UGGH".



Yes, sounds like panic.