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Depression is terribly debilitating. To say that a depressed person has no follow-through is like saying a blind person can't see. Depression means living without hope.
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Well, I don't believe he is clinically depressed at present. The meds were more for anxiety than depression, although I do think he had a little bit of the latter before going on them.
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Have you known him to be better that he is now? Is there good reason to think he might change? Would that change have to be at the level of insight from a psychodynamic process or would it be enough to have him address a few of the annoying behaviors that drive you nuts?
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I think he is "consistently inconsistent" and that is why it's so confusing. Sometimes he can be a wonderful husband and sometimes he is the opposite. But he always says he is willing to change his habits and yet he is very ineffective in doing so. The worst to me is how he is irritable at me, gets mad at me for very minor reasons and accuses me of stuff. It's things like he won't even speak to me just because I happened to close the dishwasher when he wanted it open.
I really don't care HOW he achieves it as long as he can stop taking stuff out on me. But just telling him not to be irritable doesn't help, so I've tried to ask him to do things to manage his stress (like getting exercise), but he doesn't do those consistently. Also, just telling him not to interpret everything I say and do in the most negative light possible hasn't helped much, but he doesn't seem excited to delve into whatever feelings of his own are causing him to interpret things that way.