I don't know what to do with myself right now. I keep so much bottled up inside I wonder when I'm going to burst. When something bothers me I just keep it bottled up so I don't react in a way someone doesn't agree with so they call me crazy. I wish I had someone to talk to about my feelings but everytime I try to open up I'm speechless... I don't know how to tell someone what's wrong because not even I know. It's a whole mess of insecurities and problems that just add to each other.. For example my dad isn't too involved with my life.. So I get insecure with my boyfriends because I feel like no man could love me if my own father doesn't. And all of my boyfriends have cheated on me or beaten me.. So I feel like its impossible for someone to not cheat or hit me... I don't know why I feel this way about things... I just overall don't believe anyone truly could love me. I feel like I'm just there and nobody would care for more then a few days if I wasn't here anymore.