Anxious of being anxious I've had that exact same feeling. Basically you have a panic attack because your in fear of having a panic attack. It is agoraphobia. It's like it seems like it's never going to end. I've never been suicidal, but I would get a fear of dying.

I went to see a well known psychiatrist in town. He gave me some alprazolam and started me on a very low dose of zoloft. I didn't like the idea of being on pills but thought what the heck, they seemed to help when I was a kid.

Alprazolam is a benzodiazepine, they can be very addictive. You don't normally take this unless your really feeling bad. It takes a bit to kick in but it works great. You feel a lot more worry free but a little tired. If you are suicidal you should probably only take benzos under supervision because they are commonly mixed with alcohol for suicide.

Now SSRIs like zoloft are much safer in my opinion. You start on a very small dose because it really minimizes side effects. Too many doctors it seems like start on too high of a dose. After being on a small dose the side effects greatly lessen. The only side effects it seems like I get is I feel sometimes sort of manic but not sure if it's from the zoloft or if I have a different condition. It seems like I felt great after getting used to it. You literally may need up to a month to get used to it though. You would want to get a good psychiatrist to specifically guide you on when to increase dosage.

Now SSRI's they say do have a suicide risk. I've never been suicidal but I asked my doctor about the suicide warning from the media and such out of curiosity. He said It's pretty much people with depression mainly severe depression, get so deeply depressed they have no motivation, not even to kill themselves. They get on SSRI's and that gives them that little boost of motivation to go through with it.

I can't go off my zoloft without getting anxiety. It also seems to be a little stimulating. It's not quite like amphetamines but a little similar. Much safer too for your body.

Also you should stay away from stimulants if you do any. Even caffeine can cause some people to have bad panic attacks. Especially energy drinks. Pretty much don't do drugs which includes alcohol. Even marijuana can cause bad anxiety and panic attacks in some people.

It seems like a lot of people with suicide problems take lithium. I don't know much about it but know a few people on it. It seems to help mellow them out.

You really should see a psychiatrist though. Especially if you are suicidal. When some one commits suicide, they always hurt a lot more people than they think.

im not a doctor but i've dealt with panic attacks and anxiety all my life among other things. Psychiatrists will also offer other help besides drugs. But I dinf drugs to be of great help with a good doctor that actually knows what he's doing. Hope this helps.