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so I reached down to feel my cigs in my pocket... Then proceeded to go back inside to look for my cigs. I walked into my Mom and Dad's house and locked the door like I do at home even if I know I'm going right back out. I am talking with my friend about why I have so much hamburger in my freezer and I freak out cus I don't know why. I can't even make the words come out to explain. So I sit there and put my head in my hands and kind of grrrrr. I think about what my life would be like if I didn't get married.we fight all the time. The truth is I am not easy to live with. It's probably a nightmare really.I am not good to be around. Why would he stay with me? And my ex husband why would he still try to get me back? Sometimes I think if it wasn't for my daughter I wouldn't be able to continue. Other times I wonder if she wouldn't be better off. I know I can't take myself out because... I guess it's selfishness. I can't find a job. My husband isn't making enough to pay the bills. I told her we wouldn't have to move now that mommy got the house. I'm so scared that I am a liar. I don't want her to see me losing it. Thank God for Grandparents. Wow u can tell I have a.d.d. By reading this. Probably can see other stuff too.
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