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This seems like an issue ripe to work on in couples therapy. Has couples therapy been at all helpful?
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Well, that is just it. In our last session, H kept saying stuff like "you (meaning me) are just saying I am irresponsible and a bad person, blah blah." Then I would look at the T and ask if he heard me say anything like that. He would say "no, I think you are saying blah blah..." But then after the session was over, H accused me again of spending the entire session talking about what was bad about him! I guess that is why my tone today is coming off a bit discouraged
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Is your husband irritable with everyone, or just you? Has he always had an irritable personality? Or just recently? SSRIs can really be helpful for irritation.
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He's irritable with everyone, but he takes it out on me worse than anyone else because I am closest. Yes the SNRI's he started a month or two ago have seemingly helped a lot. Another reason I am discouraged is he improved dramatically on them at first, and then in the last week he seems to have relapsed to some extent and I don't know why.
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"I am really worried things will never change. I don't want my marriage to be like this. I am wondering if I should just give up."
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When we first went in, I said I wanted to leave but I didn't have the means yet. That was honest. Things have since improved some because of medication but it still gets quite discouraging at times.
I guess I have experienced some major breakthroughs and huge improvements rather rapidly over the time I've been in therapy, and I was hoping for the same for my H, both because I see him suffering, and because he affects me, too. So I get impatient with his apparent lack of progress. But maybe I need to both accept that he might not make changes at the same rate I have, while also acknowledging that small and incremental changes can be possible.