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Old Jul 15, 2013, 11:38 PM
boredporcupine boredporcupine is offline
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Member Since: Jun 2013
Posts: 315
Quote:
This seems like an issue ripe to work on in couples therapy. Has couples therapy been at all helpful?
Well, that is just it. In our last session, H kept saying stuff like "you (meaning me) are just saying I am irresponsible and a bad person, blah blah." Then I would look at the T and ask if he heard me say anything like that. He would say "no, I think you are saying blah blah..." But then after the session was over, H accused me again of spending the entire session talking about what was bad about him! I guess that is why my tone today is coming off a bit discouraged

Quote:
Is your husband irritable with everyone, or just you? Has he always had an irritable personality? Or just recently? SSRIs can really be helpful for irritation.
He's irritable with everyone, but he takes it out on me worse than anyone else because I am closest. Yes the SNRI's he started a month or two ago have seemingly helped a lot. Another reason I am discouraged is he improved dramatically on them at first, and then in the last week he seems to have relapsed to some extent and I don't know why.

Quote:
"I am really worried things will never change. I don't want my marriage to be like this. I am wondering if I should just give up."
When we first went in, I said I wanted to leave but I didn't have the means yet. That was honest. Things have since improved some because of medication but it still gets quite discouraging at times.

I guess I have experienced some major breakthroughs and huge improvements rather rapidly over the time I've been in therapy, and I was hoping for the same for my H, both because I see him suffering, and because he affects me, too. So I get impatient with his apparent lack of progress. But maybe I need to both accept that he might not make changes at the same rate I have, while also acknowledging that small and incremental changes can be possible.