Well, I've been married for 15 years and separated for 1 1/2 years, and I can't decide what to do. My problem is that I have different parts with different opinions about my husband. I just realized that I have parts who come out when we are fighting, and they only see his "bad" side. Other parts only come out when he is safe and mushy and they really love him. Since the parts hold my feelings, I can't separate it out and decide what to do. At any given moment I feel and want different things. It is also really hard on him. He knows about the dissociation, and is supportive about it, but he never knows how I will react to him in any given moment. Then I feel badly for leaving him hanging.

My plan is to hold a meeting with my therapist and have all of us parts talk about it. What I'm really posting for is just support and understanding. This is really hard and it sucks.