The abusive man doesn't know love. Well at least not real, true love. The love that takes place in an abusive relationship is distorted. Maybe he feels feared or needed by his woman, but he doesn't feel love. Any person who truly loved their partner would never abuse them.

If you want love and you want a woman who is deserving of your love, be the man you already are. Be a strong, compassionate man who is not afraid of protecting his woman but respects her at the same time. That's what every girl (well at least 90%) is looking for. Maybe they'll mess up and accidentally think an abusive man is what they want because abusive men are often very confident and very charming. But at the end of the day, the qualities you described are the qualities that women want a guy.

Women are just crazy. We want all of that, but if a guy approaches us that is soft spoken and eager to please, unless he looks like a young Brad Pitt we friendzone him. I don't understand women. Do you think maybe you're coming off a little desperate? You could just simply be pursuing the wrong type of girl. If all of the women you pursue fall into abusive relationships, you are pursuing girls that aren't looking for a "nice guy".