You're not wasting anyone's time. I'm sorry your mum isn't being more supportive. Mine was similar - she said things like: "Oh, you know what he's like," or "Just let it wash over you."

You say you need some help on what to believe. Here's what I think. I think it's not right for a parent to shout at you and throw things at you. I think hitting isn't the only way to hurt your child (physically or emotionally) and I think the things he says to you are abusive and horrible. So what if he's tired? That doesn't give him the right to do or say whatever he pleases.

I think your friend is right. I also think it's hard for you to analyse the situation fully as you have to live in it, so you can simultaneously be upset by his behaviour and rationalise it in order to cope with being around him.

I'm really sorry your family are behaving like this. I promise you it's not your fault.