It's getting better, but I'm struggling every day not to give in to the monster. Now I have two illnesses to fight instead of one. I've been out socially for three days in a row and it took all of my physical and emotional strength and to look at me, you wouldn't even know I was on the edge. My eyes shine and I have a winning smile...when I feel like crying and I am full of rage. I have prayed to be "worn down" so that my emotional resistance willl break down and I will start letting the emotions out in front of other witnessnes.

I see my shrink on Wednesday, I can hardly wait. It's been forever since I last saw him.

There is a thing more crippling than cerebral palsy: the prison of your own mind.