The thing is though, your situation IS bothering you - and rightly so. Your mum is wrong to trivialize the issue and it sounds like she's doing this because she's worried, or possibly even scared, about his behaviour too. Why do you need us to categorize it as abuse though? If you're not happy with the situation you have a right to seek help for it whether it is deemed as abuse or not. I think you do see that it is neither normal nor acceptable behaviour and you most certainly deserve better. The question now though is what to do about it. I'm assuming your quite young still. Depending on your age and where you are there are youth housing schemes that take on people between the ages of 18-25, they're usually for people who have either found themselves homeless or are in circumstances which could possibly threaten their wellbeing. Could you have a look to see if there are any in your area (there usually are) and ask to have an interview and possibly be put on a waiting list? At least then you can be taught independence and how to get a job etc. You also get help with finding social housing once your programme there has ended. I'm in the UK though so if you're elsewhere i'm not sure what the equivalent is (if any). If your of a working age however perhaps this would be a good outlet for your troubles - you'll be out of the house in your spare time and earning money towards independence. If you're also still in school i hope the counselor there has been made aware of your situation - it's important for them to know what's going on so that they can better support you in any way they can if this is what you would like. I hope i've been of some help. All the best.