Quote:
Originally Posted by Kalavara
My friend says he is but Mum says it's just how he's used to acting so I shouldn't let it bother me, but it does.
I need some help on what to believe.
When he's in a bad mood he shouts at me and throws things in my general direction (doesn't mean to hit me though, I don't think so I just joke about it cause that's what Mum does) he also yells at me and calls me: pathetic, a joke, a disgrace, stupid, a ****** and a couple of times a d*ck, but I think he was just tired. I don't think it's too bad but my friend says it is.
When he's in a good mood he's fun though.
We have a kinda strained relationship, I can't even remember the last time he hugged me.
Also, when he found out I was doing self-harm he yelled at me for making Mum worry ( although Mum shouted too about the family's reputation and about how I was stupid to do 'such a stupid thing' so shouting at me for that can't be too bad) and whenever my wee sister does anything it's always my fault even when I'm not there and I get yelled at for that.
I need advice on what to do/think.
Please help.
Sorry for wasting your time,
KV
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I want to presume that you are over across the Pond, based on word usage, and to me, that makes me wonder, what type of access to a therapist you'd be able to get?!
You mentioned SH, and so I hope you are able to sit down and talk with a trained professional. SH is recoverable, and it sounds like you are dealing with more than someone your own age should have to deal with.
The thing, about emotional abuse, is that it is insidious and damaging, it's something you cannot see. You are still under your parent's home, and so, leaving may not be an option, at least not logistically.
There is a concept called 'detachment', but to do, so, one needs to do some serious self-help and therapy work to see through what's being said. Sadly, severing the emotional bonds to parents is difficult, and viewing them as an adult from an adult perspective, as a teen, is more daunting!!
Those words, your dad says, are damaging. Had I remained married, those snide, belittling words would have run rampant in my home. And then you have a mum, worried about how the outside world perceives her perfect little world? (not trying to insult, just point it out, as I see it, from a been there/done that perspective)
If you want to release yourself, from the emotional ties, that are destroying you, and you can't get the help you need...just remember to keep coming back here!!