(((Open eyes )))

I'm not going to argue that a little more understanding of DBT may help, but at the same time I'm not making any excuse for the people I work with, with my coworkers it's not just me that note these things with them.

I hope that it says something about the job and not about society, but I do fear with that as well.

I've been coming more to terms of validating myself on this, there's nothing wrong with me being upset with what I've been upset with. There's good reason why I'm upset. I haven't reacted in a negative way either which is a key thing to note. (like screaming, throwing things, dinking or drugs, even binge eating I've been here lately with catching self).
Changing jobs was something ext really thought would help, I think I'm getting to a point of believing in myself more of not being used like I am right now.
Surprisingly, recently I've had a few more in real life at my job that see what's going on. My reactions are to continue, worry about me, really realizing I can't really help these others if they choose to not learn the job, to take good advice. I have tried to direct, suggest, and it is really their problem for ignoring.

It's hard to talk about my work, because sure it's easy to say it's all me . after all I I'm on PC, I admit having childhood issues. Honestly I don't see why that's a factor but it is seems to be.
At least I'm on PC and not blaming others for a drinking problem, or blaming them for going to the hospital due to an emotional beak down, Even the break downs I had at home I blamed stress and myself for not being able to handle things better.....
I have people at my work that have Blamed others, and do that, take no responsibility... I at least take some responsibility for me.I realize my coping skills could do better but an environment change could help with that as well.I already know this but sure some reason with it's scarier

Open eyes I won't lie, another fear is that it is all me, where ever I go will be in the same problem; right now, honestly I think I need to stop indulging that fear. Realize I do have some goods (and open eyes I know you support that too, with seeing our gains and goods in self)

One of the problems right now is my strange loyalty to the company, they've messed over so many, my self included but I still have this loyalty of passing on knowledge- making sure things are ok before I leave .. which won't happen. In the end as ext used to say,I do need to worry about me.
Accept the place is a mess,I cant change that and some aspects of myself shouldn't change for that's who I am, but yet it's not good for my soul with staying.

Guidance I would love, but at the same time, even with Ext, it want there- I'm not sure if other ts would be, but the money is an issue.
In the end finding that guidance within is what's needed. Trust self. Listen to self.

I'm not sure if any of this makes sense? Having trouble sleepingg today but it seems clear,, I am not changing my aspect of good work ethic, being a problem solver, and helping out, nor should i- but yet being used as I am because it's a corporation, isn't good for my mental well being.