I do not think there is any way you can tell if your husband can or cannot do something if he is not putting much effort in to do it. Before anyone can change they have to want to change and anyone can want to change. . . if they want But sounds like he isn't wanting it, there's no action to indicate that he does and thoughts/feelings/words don't cut it, just actions do.

But you should not be basing your life on what your husband does but on what you want for you. If he does not treat you how you want to be treated, then you have to decide what you want to do about that; you have to decide if he is putting in the effort to change enough to suit you for your life together, etc.

Everyone gets to run their own life. My husband's ex-wife complained that he wasn't making her happy. Well, that's not his job, that's hers but he did not enjoy living with the complaints and not being accepted for who he is so he divorced her! I recognize and accept him for who he is and we've been happily married for 23 years, his ex-wife is still not happy :-)