So you have a guy who is exceedingly lazy, irresponsible, complains too much, and smokes too much pot (smoking pot is OK per se - it is that he smokes all the time instead of being productive that probably bothers you so much).

You never abused him, OK?

You were resentful. You do much more than your fair share, and you were therefore resentful. Postpartum depression and stress from working your high status work and having two small children exacerbated your resentment. You say that you were filled with anger. I personally doubt that. I think you were simply filled with justifiable resentment.

It does not seem worth pursuing reconciliation. You wrote:

"Even though I am happier, I still have a hard time appreciating my husband."

You are having a hard time appreciating your husband because OBJECTIVELY there is nothing to appreciate in him (unless there are redeeming qualities that you omitted from OP). No group therapy, support, and/or medication would make you appreciate him because OBJECTIVELY there is nothing to appreciate in him.