You have the power to talk to your father and say, "I do not like your wife. You are my father and I love you. I am tired of you not treating me like I matter. I will tell your wife what I think and have this conversation, but I refuse to have a relationship with her. I will have one with you on your terms, so how do you want to do this?"

I've had a conversation like this before and it's never easy. It's best to deal with this sort of thing head on.