Quote:
Originally Posted by UniversalTruth
He shared with me that he has been drunk each night he has been out and that he has had friends visit and camp with him. He also smokes a lot of marijuana – like constantly… to deal with anything and everything. This is all so hard for me to understand. It really seems to me like he doesn’t want the responsibilities he has signed up for – and he is trying to passively force my hand into divorcing him and making him a victim.
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That he shares with you is good - that means that he trusts you and you and he are on good enough terms.
Capitalize on being on good enough terms with him! Just tell him calmly: "Dude, you are not keeping up your end of the bargain. You want to be drinking, camping, and smoking pot. This is fine in and of itself, but then you should do all of that living alone, on your own. And please do not tell me that I am making you a victim by telling you that you will be dismissed if things do not change for the better DRAMATICALLY within the next quarter. You said that you love me. You said that you want to camp in order to miss me and love me with your whole heart again. While all of this is cute and seems innocent, it is grossly insufficient. I do not need a guy who does not change diapers, does not work enough, does not (extend the list - I am sure you have enough to add
) EVEN if he loves me with his whole heart. You can still love me with your whole heart - I do not mind - but you will have to live alone and love me from a distance. If you want to live with me, you need to (your list of chores etc.) You also should stop accusing me of abusing you. You have one quarter to make changes. Happy camping now."