Alexandra K,
I'm a new member who wanted to get a better understanding of BPD. My younger sister Susan had BPD.
She died September 7th of a drug overdose. She had been
medicating herself since she was a teen with legal and illegal drugs and alcohol. (So did I. I struggle with alcoholism and depression. I am in AA.) Susan became more abusive and manipulative as the years went by. She
was particularly horrible to my parents and I hated to see them being beaten up by her daily phone calls and in person tirades about how what awful parents they were
and how she hated them. Of course it didn't stop her from
manipulating them into buying her new teeth at 24K, promising to pay them monthly but never making one payment saying they had done other things for me and my brother and how dare they make her pay. Susan and I were really close growing up. I used to lay in bed and hold her hand until she fell asleep because she was scared. I miss the little sister who loved every living thing and used to kiss frogs! We used to have so much fun together...we'd laugh until we hurt. I got occasional glimpses of the old Susan this past few years but the intentional cruelty to me,
her daughter, husband, my brother and my parents was so
pervasive, it's what I'm left with.
So, I came to this website to seek comfort and some better
understanding of the BPD thinking. I just wanted to tell you how much I respect what you have had to share in your emails to various posting. It's obvious that not all BPD's are like my sister. It's nice to see there are people like you who want to
be aware of how BPD affects their behaviors and choices and are willing to do the hard work it takes to take control
of BPD, instead of it taking control of you. I admire the intensity of your self examination that all of us could benefit
from because all human beings have faults that cause problems in our lives. Kudos to you! How I wish Susan
would have been willing to be that honest with herself and willing to do the hard work you're doing. For some reason,
it makes me feel better to know others with BPD are battling successfully.