{{{{bbren}}}} Wow...no wonder why you have been crying....you must be feeling totally trapped at this point. As caregivers, we so often give so much of ourselves to the people we're caring for and before you know it, you turn around and see that there is absolutely nothing left for ourselves (or left OF ourselves). Our individuality has gone by the wayside, our sense of who we are and what we are can only be described as "caregiver". We no longer have a clue as to what we need, where to turn or how to help ourselves out of the situation, or even just make ourselves better so we can continue giving the care.

Working through your situation with your husband and the mixed up emotions you must be feeling about your father is one thing, but you have to draw the line somewhere and take care of #1 in order to deal with the others.

Is there any way you can take some time for yourself to get away for a couple of days each month? Respite is so very important for the caregiver to take advantage of to help keep your sanity.

I hope you can find some solutions to help you help yourself. Sometimes the smallest of things like rewarding yourself with a new outfit, or going out for an ice cream can make all the difference in your day. Make it a point to pamper yourself every single day...you SO DESERVE it!

Take good care of YOU!

Hugssssssss
Jean