How do I do that?



I'm the type of person that literally cannot STAND when people think poorly of me. I can handle ambivalence or apathy, but if I think someone is mad at me, or hurt over something I said or did, the worry will tear me to pieces. I've been this way for literally as long as I can remember. I worry so much about everyone else that I find actually impossible to worry about myself. Because then I'll feel greedy or selfish.

I try to be selfish sometimes and take time for myself and do something for me, but in the back of my head ALWAYS is that worry of "man I really really wish I wouldn't have said that... what must they think of me now?".

In all actuality they probably don't care at all. But it FEELS like they do. Part of me thinks that THEY are thinking about it as much as I am and are getting madder and madder at me.

It's led me to send texts or make phone calls to apologize over whatever stupid thing I'm thinking about at the time and then the person ACTUALLY gets angry, even though they'd really forgotten the whole thing.

I just want to turn off my mind sometimes. And I haven't really found a way to (safely... legally) do that.