Yep. Sounds like he doesn't want responsibility at work or at home. Otherwise, he would be cooking, cleaning, taking care of the kids to save on daycare, or working more and certainly not criticizing you. You could separate and then make a decision. Do a legal separation so that he Does have responsibilities...
I suspect you will feel even better away from him, given that you are feeling better having taken the energy to find and use support systems available to you, even while you are in this difficult relationship.