I'm a new member who wrote you an email earlier
but realized I addressed to the wrong person!
I was writing to tell you how much I respect the hard work
you do to recover or battle your BPD. I signed up to better understand the disorder. My younger sister Susan who
died September 7th was 47 and had BPD. She died of a drug overdose and had been abusing drugs and alcohol
both legal and illegal for years. I suffer from depression
and alocholism. I'm currently in AA and sober but it's been a battle for years. Anyway, Susan was an extreme BPD
who became more and more cruel as time went by.
She was never willing to do the hard work required to get better...namely, taking a good hard look at her behavior and
claim her part in her unhappiness. Susan was manipulative and mean to all her family, including her
daughter and husband but was particularly abusive to our
parents. I know her cruelty only increased her self-loathing
(intellectually I understand this) but she was still trashing
my parents to their new neighbors the week she died. My parents made mistakes when we were little but nothing
dramatic or unusual. My brother and i became very protective of them in response to Susan's constant tirades
against them and manipulation of them. Now she's dead
and i'm left missing the little sister whose hand I held until she fell asleep. Susan loved all animals and used to even
kiss frogs! But sadly, I mostly left with the wreckage of the past years hurts. You just can't imagine how cruel and twisted she became and I feel sick even thinking about it.
So, when I was going through the postings, I noticed your
writings were marked with empathy, intelligence and
encouragement. You are struggling hard to live a good life
and are taking an inventory of your part in your unhappiness
which is the key to mental health in my opinion. I AA, I've learned that if i'm the problem, it's good news. But if everyone else is the problem, I'm screwed! I can see you sometimes feel like you fail but as long as you do the work,
you're a hero in my book! i'm proud of you and wish Susan
could have been like you. I miss her so. Bless you and know you are my hero!
Ann