Y'know... I have no idea how I hit "thanks for this" when I only clicked on hugs.... ANYWAY!

I've figured out that for myself at least, at the bottom of things? I am always worried for/about me.

When I'm worried about upsetting someone? It's because I'm worried they are going to leave me or stop being friends with me. Or that they're going to be mean, or that they won't accept my apology... and all of that leads to me being a failure and a bad friend.

I care deeply for people's happiness... but when I find myself worrying over EVERY LITTLE THING... it all comes back to me and my own insecurity and lack of trust. Even when it's me going "X is having a really hard time lately with all the stuff going on in their life, am I doing enough for them? What else could I be doing? Have I been sensitive? Have I been consuming too much of their time or energy? Have I been neglecting them?!" etc etc... that still comes back to a worry about myself.

If it doesn't go to extremes then it wouldn't be. But when it does? It's something I'm worried about that has to do with me at the core of it.

I've defiiteley had people GET mad at me because I get so worried and keep asking for reassurance.

It's when I go into auto-correct mode. When I think "Z must be really mad at me because they're not responding to any of my texts! Have I sent too many texts?! Should I send another apologizing?!" I follow it up with "Don't be daft, Z's at work remember? They're likely busy. And Z is a nice person, don't think such horrible thoughts about them! If Z's upset they'll let you know about it."

I might keep having the thoughts and I never fully believe the corrections... but it'll be enough to prevent me from saying/doing anything overboard.