People just don't like it when we put ourselves down. That is a fact that we have to get used to. Even your best friend will get tired of trying to pull you up. They are also trying to keep themselves OK. Almost no one has the strength to carry both you and themselves. It isn't that they don't care.
You say that you've known that you've had depression for a long time. Have you ever been able to get medication for it? If you can't get therapy maybe medication can help. I don't think you can deal with this without some help. It's hopeful that you have found somewhere which can accommodate you financially. If at all possible take advantage of it. You need help. Also look at the top of this forum at Depression Resources and see if anything there can help you.
I so relate to your trust issues. We trust too much and then pull completely back and end up isolated. There you need counseling or therapy to get clear. I have never gotten that one right. I think going slower when we meet people is the way to do it. But I'm not sure I know what that means.
Anyway, I hope you get help soon.