Elektra, I believe what you say about your young childhood and how painful it was
growing up in an environment like that. The remedy for it lies in working on learning
to love our little child ourselves and caring for it just as a loving mother and father
would care for their little child.

It's important to know that everyone has a little child within and that nobody in life
gets through it without having had some injury to that little one within. It's our
assignment to heal that child by covering it with love, care, and affection. It might
take some psychotherapy and some medications to start you on a recovery trail,
but it's worth it to learn that we all have scars from childhood and that all of us
have to work at it to learn to let our little child have compassion and protection
from us.

Leed is right; God created us and God doesn't make mistakes. It's in the early home
life that these mistakes occur in our parents not knowing any better.

You're very deserving of deep love and affection; everyone is. Start by giving your
little child within that love.

It will be a day-to-day effort for a while. I would suggest reading some Hazeldon
Foundation's books. (They're online and you can purchase some excellent books
from their store to read about recovery.)

Truthfully, the little child within is the most creative, loving, and full of play part of
our being if we let it be; but if it doesn't know how to do that, it needs help to heal.

I wish you very good times in learning about how to do that.

See about therapy and medications to get you started on a life-changing journey, please. And continue to post, if you will, to let us know how you are.