Nessa & Cheshire...I admire how well you are able to articulate your feelings. I read Nessa's post and thought to myself, that is EXACTLY how I feel and act but could never have put that into words!! Then, I read Cheshire's response and was amazed at how detailed and well thought out it was.

I am queen of "they didn't text me back so they must be mad at me, therefore i am a terrible person." It is not a logical conclusion, but in essence, that is where my thoughts lead me. I think Cheshire is right...its all some sort of fear of abandonment or ego related issue. Because if I fear that someone is mad at me, what is the real fear? Basically it flows from "someone is mad at me", to, "did I do something to make them mad at me", to , "even if I can't think of something obvious, maybe I did something i don't know about", to "maybe I should ask them if they are mad, or just send a general apology", to "if that person stays mad maybe they won't be my friend or they will say bad things about me", to , "I don't want to loose friends because then i will be alone and if I loose friends that means I did something wrong and I am a bad person", to , "maybe I am a bad person", to "I think i AM a bad person, I don't want to be a bad person, what can I do to not be a horrible person??"

All this going on in my head when in reality...probley they are just busy. I am trying to use coping skills now and it is helping a little. Coping skills are learned behaviors so I know it will take time.

As far as taking time for oneself...i use to feel guilty, too, until I realized how much more balanced and relaxed I felt when I included some "me" time. I try to do it regularly so that I don't get pent up and agitated. I give myself a fixed amount of time away from everyone and a license to not feel guilty at all.