You say you cannot appreciate him - and i can see why. A loving, responsible father doesn't try and negate as much as possible. That is not how a man behaves. I think you deserve to be able to work out your problems, enjoy your children with the time that you have and maintain a career you have worked so hard for - without all the added stress. If he won't be what he should be, work on accepting that and if the circumstances are right for you to be able to leave - do so at the earliest convenience.