Hi there, I just read your story and have to agree that now may not be the time for a separation. I can tell you ... separation isn't easy. It hurts even when you want it.

You may hate the abuse, but you're in a stable situation and have what you need. My situation was much different. We had no children in common. No house. No decent income... and the debts are mine alone, and not as intimidating as what you owe.

That leaves the consideration of how you can get through the abusive moments. I hope he is out of the home most of the time - working or whatever he does.

You are well-informed now, and that's the best protection against being negatively affected by the abuse. You know what he's doing and why.

I too am writing about my situation, and believe that writing it out is good therapy. I hope someday I'll be able to read your manuscript.

I agree that consultation with a lawyer is a good first step, but don't let him or her talk you into a separation or divorce that you're not ready for.