So many people feel safe doing things behind the presumed shelter of technology they are tempted to do things they would not normally do. We have instant access to people we would not normally see or communicate with at all. Trouble is flirting is still flirting and lies are still lies, and unfortunately your hurt is very very real.

I joined this site for reasons very similar to what you are describing. My partner of many years was having inappropriate flirtatious email exchanges with another woman. I was devastated to say the least. I confronted him and was prepared to leave him. We talked about it for weeks. Some of his responses actually made it worse. It rocked my world and our relationship.

Trust is a huge thing. I googled everything I could find on all aspects of the situation. Honestly, not much really helped at the time. I did find some articles here on PsychCentral that I saved. I can send them to you if you would like me to. I still read them occasionally.

He did apologize repeatedly. I laid out my terms without condition that he never ever have any form of contact with this person ever again...and I stayed.

I stayed because...he made a mistake. It was unfortunate and the hurt was enormous...but it was a mistake. We are none of us perfect. Can you get past it is the question.

Your fiance' has yet to admit any wrong doing. That makes it tough. First he did something wrong, then he lied about it...which made it worse. Right now he must feel pretty trapped in the muck of it. Can you open the door of honesty in a nonthreatening way for him?

Transparency is the key. Is he willing to allow you all-in access to his everything?

Right now all you have is questions and not a lot of answers. You obviously must love this man if you are engaged to be married. I don't have the answers for you...just the understanding.

I wish you well.