Quote:
Originally Posted by Nicks_Nose
Another perspective to consider is the fact that your partner was attracted to the male side of the person you project. That is what attracted her. That is what she is naturally pulled to. It would be no different if a Lesbian is attracted to a feminine looking form of females. If that person appears to desire to look any other way, that new image never did appeal to the partner you presently have. To find out that a partner you have been attracted to has been presenting them self in one form and now they wish to present themselves occasionally in another form. It is natural that that other form was not appealing originally to the partner who first married you. Do you see what I am saying?
It is as if the partner never knew the full you and it is normal human nature to change decisions on relationships as new information comes forth. This new information is not like learning that you like to pick flowers....it is a whole new piece of who you are. That changes the perspective on the type of partner your significant other thought he/she was marrying. When new information crosses personal boundaries, it takes time to think through, live with and see if it is adaptable. Once this person realizes that this is not what naturally attracts this person, it is natural that they would decide to move on.
HUGS
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I do get what you're saying... but the difference is I never asked her to accept that part of me, never asked that I be allowed to do it, period, much less publicly. I got hammered pretty good on the first few pages for being apologetic about it, but I am/was willing to give it all up for our marriage. Perfect world she would have accepted it, had fun with it, etc., but real world, I knew that wasn't going to happen and would never require that acceptance from her.
But you are definitely right to a degree... the presenting of the information changed her view of me permanently. And at this point in time it overshadows every other trait, accomplishment, act of kindness, event, etc. that we have experienced over the past 15 years.