Perhaps she's worried you can't see the wood for the trees - which is easy for her to think but perhaps she's on to something. We're all judgmental whether it be considered positively or negatively and yes, sometimes that can lead to insensitive comments. Do you genuinely believe though that she really thinks you're choosing to be sad?

I'm not sure how people can be that ignorant anymore - awareness of depression is increasing, schools etc are being more open about mental health in general, popular culture is attempting to tackle the issue in the same way they are sexuality etc I just don't know if it's realistic for her to be that way - you appear to be a smart person who i assume would hang out with others of equal intellect so you can see what logic i'm trying to get at.

We don't all have the same level of care giving - other's know exactly what to say and when, other's stumble a bit more. I think if she wasn't interested in being there for you - she wouldn't be.

I think it's best if you both just bury the hatchet and move on - she sounds like a good friend and to be honest that's rare these days. You deserve each other and whilst you both might not be perfect, you sound like you care about each other (you wouldn't be posting here if you weren't that concerned about the issue) and that's a really important point. I hope i've been supportive.