I have a terrible relationship with my mother. She seems like a bitter woman. She lost her mother when she was very young, and her father pulled her out of school after middle school. On the surface she seems to be very religious. She watches christian television constantly, and goes to church every weekend. All that said, she doesn't seem like a very christian woman to me for some reason. It's almost like she's putting on a show and doesn't actually believe in any of it. She had me when she was in her early forties after she'd already had several other children. There's about an eight year age gap between me and my closest sibling. You could say I was probably unplanned.

Anyway, as I grew up she never really taught me how to do anything. She gave me some phonics records and a bible, and didn't seem to invest much else in me. She tried to get me to go to church, but I wasn't very interested. A lot of weekends she forced me to go. To this day when I've asked her to explain how something's done she refuses to tell me. She acts as if she doesn't know how, but I don't think I've ever asked her to explain something I haven't seen her do. She has about zero respect for me, but for whatever reason she still wants me around. She seems to want to keep me as a pet or something. I've gotten to the point where I don't want anything to do with her, but she still tries to contact me from time to time.

What I'm wondering is if this sort of relationship has a psychological explanation. I read a description of a narcissistic mother, and some of the things seem to fit. Especially about her choosing a golden child to compare everyone to. The thing with her, though, was that the golden child would shift depending on who she was talking to.

Is this a common thing? How would it be categorized psychologically? Would a mother actually want her children to turn out badly? (I actually don't believe it was just me)