It sounds like you don't have the necessary support around you and I am sorry to hear that. Not only are you going through emotional turmoil, but you are not getting adequate or helpful support at home or with friends. You are not crazy, and you are not alone. Sometimes, the initial process of getting help can be the hardest. Have you ever asked your parents to sit down because you want to talk about something that means a lot to you? Initially, I was not taken seriously about depression/suicidality and unfortunately I did not get the help I needed. But, through the whole experience, I learned that I did not know how to ask for the help either. I have found that passing comments, or acting out, or whatever did not help. But when I sat my parents down and explained that something very serious was going on, and that I was asking for their help and support even if they don't understand what is going on. Explain how you feel and explain that when they just tell you you are fine or normal (or whatever they say), when they say those things you feel...(hopeless, alone, depressed, insecure, scared, etc). These are just a few thoughts, take or leave them. I will be thinking of you. Keep reaching out on PC and wherever else you can, help is out there somewhere. Keep asking for help, and just because others might be in denial, keep being real with yourself and take yourself seriously. All the best and many hugs.