I really hope you don't apologize. The only thing you did was speak up against something you believe is wrong. That takes courage. Especially in the face (literally) of someone who has no respect for you or others. They are showing their true colors as are you. Maybe the colors don't mix well. No pun intended.

It's sad to learn something ugly about someone we care about. But you can't unlearn it. As far as I see it, the friend is ignorant and racist. And your bf is on his side, not yours. Can you share life with someone who supports ignorance and racism? Has your bf made a stand either way about his beliefs or is he just passively making a statement by supporting his buddy?